Not me Monday

This past week I most certainly did not forgetfully add some salad topper mix to our green beans which did not include peanuts and then I did not proceed to feed said green beans to my 8 month old before remembering the peanuts. Oh and I did not let him continue to eat the green beans after realizing my mistake. (Thankfully he was fine, no adverse reactions at all)
I also did not laugh hysterically when my 8 month old laid himself on the floor, flopped around like a fish, and whined pitifully. (If this is his idea of a tantrum I’m in for an entertaining few years)
I absolutely did not share a bowl of chili mac with my 8 month old then hope his father would get stuck with that diaper.
I did not wish it wasn’t my 33rd birthday already.
I did not cheat on my diet at all. Not me, I would never have birthday cake while on a diet. And I did not continue to eat pieces of said cake throughout the weekend.