86 hours!

I have now gone 86 hours without a cigarette.  Supposedly the worse is over, but I know I’ve made it as long as 2 weeks before.  This time though I am making the choice to avoid all smoking areas, which won’t be hard to do at all.  No one is smoking in my home now or my car, my hospital campus is non-smoking so I don’t leave on breaks at all.  I don’t hang out at anyone’s house where there is smoking, and I haven’t been to a bar in years.  My down fall during my longest previous quit was being around a group of smokers who were all smoking in front of me, before I was strong enough to fight the urge.  This time I know better.

Day 3-Your first love

My first love was Dandelion.  He was a fat cat, a yellow tabby, and was the perfect pet for a young child.  I dressed him up in doll clothes and played house with him for hours.  He would even ride in the seat of my toy grocery cart without complaint.  I adored that cat and I think he is why I have such a love for all types of animals.

I know short but sweet.  Day 4's topic will take me some time and may end up sounding like a therapy session.

Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name

This one is pretty easy. Basically where I am in my life is about as far off as possible from where I thought I was going when I was 15 or even 18. I didn’t really want kids when I was in my teens (having my sisters be so much younger gave me enough of a taste). I wanted to go into law enforcement. I hoped to live somewhere warm, sunny, and near the water.



Instead, I am a mom, who works as a nurse, and we live in Mid-Missouri.



So… How exactly did I get here?

Exciting News

I’m going to be an aunt!


Ok, I guess technically I am already an aunt, but this feels totally different.

My BIL (TJ’s brother) has a daughter who is 6 months older than Jax. But he and her mother were an off and on thing when she got pregnant and then off for most of the pregnancy. There was no family baby shower and the mother is not someone I have ever been close to. In fact my niece was 3 months old before we got the DNA results and nearly a year old by time BIL had gone to court for visitation. Also my BIL is not one of my favorite people. Yes I got lucky with my MIL in that while she sometimes annoys me, we generally get along but my BIL is a few years older than me and very irresponsible and self-centered and generally drives me bat-shit crazy.

Now my little sister is pregnant. And I am so excited! For one I adore Paige and we get along great, for the other her husband Eric is awesome and will be a great father. I’ve known Eric most of Paige’s life as he was just a few years behind me at catholic school (I also know most of his family well). There will be a baby shower, and there is no question of the baby’s parentage. But part of me thinks this is more exciting to me because this baby will be blood. I am done having babies myself, and hope it is a long while before I am having any grandbabies, so this niece or nephew will have a very dotting auntie.

Of course not to say I don’t dot on my niece (BIL’s DD). I certainly do. At Christmas I spent as much on her as I did my own children and last year I bought her tons of cute clothes while garage saleing. But I think there will be a stronger bond with this new baby.

Please tell me I am not the only one who feels like it is a bigger deal when it is your sibling’s child as opposed to your SO’s sibling?

Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts

I am Amanda Jill, or AJ.  My life story can be found HERE.  I am 34yo and work full-time as a nurse in a skilled nursing/rehab unit at my local hospital.  I have 3 kids.  DS Bailey is 15yo and lives full-time with my parents.  DD Corbin is 9yo and is HF ASD or Asperger’s.  DS Jax is 2yo and my wild child.  Hubby TJ and I will celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary in May and have been together most of the last 10 years as of April.  TJ is the stay-at-home parent and it has worked out pretty well for us.

I just took this one this evening.

1. Growing up becoming a nurse never crossed my mind, in fact I tell people I kind of fell into being a nurse. (Guess that could be a blog post all its own)

2. I would like to get my RN BSN (Registered Nurse, Bachelor’s of Nursing) and work in OB. Maybe even go on for my Masters and become a Nurse Midwife.

3. When I got pregnant with Jax it was after two years of TTC and just two months after I had lost hope and accepted that it wasn’t going to happen for us.

4. I own no skirts or dresses. I hate them. I bought a skirt to wear for my sister’s wedding last May and have since got rid of it. I looked hideous in it.

5. I want to get a tattoo, but my OCD is one of the things holding me back. I feel like I must wait until I have decided on the perfect placement and have found an artist I trust to get it exactly like I have it pictured in my head. (In other words, it may never happen)

6. I started school in kindergarten at the local public school. When my parents got married I went to my dad’s old catholic school for 4th, 5th, and 6th grade. Half-way through 7th grade my parents transferred me back to the public school. It was strange to reconnect with kids I had started school with but hadn’t even spoken to for 3+ years, but most of them remembered me.

7. Every few years I cut my hair off. It is something I have done since my teens. I grow my hair out, it gets super long, and I get tired of it and chop it short. Right now I am in a grow it out stage from cutting it last summer.

8. Sometimes I feel like TJ is the only person in the world who really knows me and understands me. And while I love that he and I are so connected, it can feel a bit lonely to only have him.

9. I am one of those few people who loved high school and would like to go back to those days sometimes. I was so confident back then and while I do remember some drama issues I shrugged most things off.

10. My grandmother has complained that to look in my closet is depressing. Full of grays, blues, and blacks. I have added a few pieces of color since she said this, but need to do better.

11. I love to read. In fact combine my love of reading and my ADD and my mom had to stop leaving the cereal boxes on the table during breakfast. Even if I had just read all four sides of the box the day before I would reread them just for something to do while I was eating.

12. I have a love/hate relationship with shoes. I love how the right shoes can make an outfit and am always tempted to buy cute pairs, but I hate wearing shoes and during the warm months I am either bare foot or in my flip flops as much as possible.

13. I can’t spell. I love spell check. I’ve been told that it is unusual for someone who was one an early reader and two loves reading as much as I do to be THIS bad at spelling.

14. Even though I suck at spelling, I was always the one to come to for proof reading regarding word usage and grammar in high school.

15. I feel like my brain has shrunk since high school. Is it possible to get dumber as you get older, because I sure feel like it when helping DD with 4th grade homework?



Wow, that wasn’t too bad. I think I came up with some good things.

We are going to be quiters!

That’s right, TJ and I are going to quit smoking. I have already cut my cigarettes in half in the last few days and only have 2.5 packs left. I will not be buying anymore.

We have both said for years now that we needed to quit, but now we both agree and are seriously ready. What is different for us this time? Jax. He says cigarettes, he says lighter, and he pretends to smoke things, like his French fries.

This I feel is the last straw for us. Yes, we both know all the other reasons we should quit like our health and the money we will save. And while Corbin has always asked us not to smoke and to please stop, she never showed an interest like he has started doing.

So I will quit and I will teach my kids that they should never start. Corbin already knows I regret starting, and so will Jax.

Long-Time / No Post

Wow, I have really sucked at this blogging thing. But now that I have left my evening job at the state facility and am working once more at my old 12 hour over night job, I really hope to have more time to spend here.

It has been a long winter here in mid-MO. We got a taste of spring, and I loved it as did the kids. But now it is cold and wet with occasional snow flurries again. We are so ready to put away our winter wear and have fun in the sun.

Jax is talking so much right now and saying new words everyday. He also loves to help us with chores around the house. I tried to get some pictures of him a few days back but he still tries to steal the camera which just makes for unhappy pictures of him reaching for it.

I had a parent teacher meeting for Corbin last week and I am happy to say she has gotten her grades up in all her subjects they were low in. And now that I am home more in the evening to help out with homework I hope they get even better, but math is still a struggle for her.

Ok, I know I say this all the time but I will try to be here more often and to post more comments on blogs I follow.